


All These Things That I've Done

by hextrals



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: M/M, Multi, as i post the first part i have fifteen pages typed and im not even close to done, it's gonna be a while before i finish this and like, slowburn yall, this is gonna be so long yall
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-26 17:00:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18721237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hextrals/pseuds/hextrals
Summary: michael and alex finally accept that they can't be together the way the are. they need to grow and learn before they can do that.





	1. Old Town Road

**Author's Note:**

> this is gonna be a fun one. im posting w/o preview each time tho so just. bear with me and dont attack my inevitable typos

Michael stared at the road ahead of him. He knew it had been a mistake as soon as it happened. Being with Maria had felt different this time. It had felt wrong. That was all Michael could think as he drove his beat up truck through pouring rain to find Alex. He hadn’t been at the airstream but with how late he had been Michael wasn’t shocked. So as he pulled up to the cabin and saw the lights on he felt swift relief. 

 

The car was barely stopped and off before Michael was out of the car and walking to the door. He stopped abruptly when he noticed someone was sitting on the porch waiting. However, he was crestfallen when he realized it wasn’t who he was looking for.

 

“Get out of here, Guerin. You’ve caused Alex enough pain.” Kyle said, blocking the doorway with his body and crossing his arms.

 

“Valenti-”

 

“No. You-” suddenly the door opened and Alex was there looking very tired and broken. Both men turned at the sound.

 

“Alex-” Michael started, being quickly silenced by a wave of Alex’s hand.

 

“Go inside, Kyle. I’ve got this.”

 

“Alex... I really don’t think this is a good idea.”

 

“Go inside. Now.” Lightning struck in the distance, illuminating Alex’s face in a haunting manner. Kyle stood up reluctantly and moved to the door.

 

“If you need me, I’ll be just inside.” He said, letting his hand trail across Alex’s back before entering the house with a sigh. The door closed with a click and Michael froze. Everything he had wanted to say left his brain and his mouth went dry.

 

“Alex-”

 

“Guerin why are you here? You made yourself very clear when you stood me up- for Maria, I might add.”

 

“I’m here to apologize. So much happened in the past few days and I- I got really jumbled up. I know that isn’t an excuse for anything but-”

 

“Guerin, if this is another bullshit story I don’t-”

 

“No! Alex, Max fixed it.” Michael said, his voice breaking and tears filling his eyes. “He fixed my hand. I-I-I begged him not to. I didn’t want him to but he-” Michael choked on his words as he held up his healed hand. Alex’s eyes widened as he held Michael’s hand in his own looking it over. 

“Guerin this is… incredible but how are you going to explain it?” Michael shook his head. 

 

“That’s not what I’m worried about. I- I really am sorry I didn’t come to you. I should have- I wish I had but-”

 

“I don’t want to hear it. What you said at Caulfield about letting go- you were right. We do need to let go. Starting with you leaving me alone. I don’t want to see you again, Guerin.” Alex kept his face stony but inside he was breaking. Michael felt his heart shatter.

 

“Alex, please-”

 

“He told you to get lost, Guerin. Now you need to leave.” Kyle was back and standing protectively at Alex’s shoulder and putting a hand on his waist, giving Michael a death glare. Michael shot Alex a pleading look but Alex just looked away.

 

“Okay. Okay.” Michael said, walking to his car. He paused with his hand on the handle, the rain pouring down on him unwaveringly. He turned back to the men on the porch, both were staring at him with intensity. “I love you, Alex. I always have.” he called out, trying to keep himself steady.

 

“You never tried to reach me over the course of my enlistment. Not once in a decade.” Alex returned, stepping to the front of his porch. This made Michael’s blood boil.

 

“That’s bullshit! I wrote you every day, Manes! Everyday for ten years I wrote you and you never wrote back. I’m not letting you send me away this time. I’m not letting you walk away. This time- this time I’m the one who’s walking away.” He got into his truck and slammed the door shut. It came to life with a roar and he sped away from the cabin, flooded with rage and hurt. 

 

\-----

 

_ Dead. Dead. Dead. Max is dead. _ That’s all Michael could think as he sat in the crashdown with Liz. His brother. No matter the fighting, no matter the hardships Max was his brother and now he had traded his life for Rosa’s.

 

“Liz- Liz please tell me this is a twisted joke. Please tell me Max is going to walk through those doors any second and-” Isobel sobbed, burying her face in Michael’s shoulder. Michael couldn’t bring himself to cry. He refused to let himself cry. He had to hold himself together.

 

Liz was crying too. She had lost the love of her life. He had traded himself for her sister. He had made the ultimate sacrifice, a life for a life. Max had done so many things wrong in his life. He had done so many of the wrong things for the right reasons and so many of the right things for the wrong reasons. He wasn’t a beacon of good but he wasn’t a valley of evil either. He was just Max, and Max made mistakes.

 

“I wish- I wish more than anything that this wasn’t real, Isobel. I wish he wasn’t gone. I- I loved him. I’ll always love him and I- I never even got to-” Liz’s tears drowned her words as she got up and scooted in on the other side of Michael. He held on to both girls tightly as they cried, holding in the tears he wanted to release himself. Max was gone and there was nothing he could do.

 

“He knew, Liz. I promise you, he knew.” Michael whispered, hugging Liz closer to him.

 

The three of them stayed that way for hours, holding each other and crying. Arturo asked what was wrong but no one had the heart to tell him. He made them churro pancakes and sad smiles before eventually returning upstairs. Liz had fallen asleep on him and Isobel was not far behind her so Michael took Liz to her room, gently washed the makeup stains from her face and laid her in her bed. He wrote out a quick note explaining what happened and where he and Isobel would be and put it on her desk for her to find in the morning so when she woke up she would know where to find them.

 

“Sleep well, Liz.” he whispered, draping a blanket over Liz’s shoulders and moving to go get Isobel. He quietly made his way down the stairs before walking over to the booth where Isobel had curled into herself. Gently picking her up, he carried her to his truck then drove to her to Max’s place. He had always said that if anything were to happen to him it was there’s. Neither of them had ever thought they would be taking up that offer.

 

Michael’s truck rattled to a halt outside of Max’s house. He turned off the truck and as smoothly as possible lifted Isobel from the seat. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he could feel that her face was still slick with tears. He stepped over the still shattered glasses and into Max’s living room. Michael felt his heart sink to his feet as he was crushed by the reminders of Max. He walked quietly to the guest room and softly set Isobel on the bed. He took the boots off her feet and the makeup off her face. He was almost at the door when he remembered he needed to cover her with a blanket. He moved quickly and quietly, hoping not to wake her. As he reached the doorway he heard a muffled voice.

 

“Michael… please don’t leave me.” Isobel sounded weak and broken. Just like how Michael felt.

 

“I’m not, Iz. I’ll be back before you know it. I promise.” He said, trying not to let his voice waver as he walked out the door.

 

He got into his truck and let his head rest against the wheel. So much had happened. He’d lost his mom. He’d lost Alex. Now he’d lost Max. All in the span of a few short days. As he sat there, eyes trained on his boots, tears began to fall. The tears he’d been holding in for the past few hours fell freely down his face and he could do nothing to keep them in any longer. For the first time in a very long time, Michael felt completely, irrevocably alone. So he decided to do what he always does when he feel alone. Go to the Wild Pony and get drunk.


	2. Living In A Bottle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> drunken michael says some things he could regret

Michael slumped against the bar and let out a long sigh. He didn’t want to deal with Maria’s impending questions, he just wanted a drink. He knew there were other bars but none of them let him rack up a tab like she did.

 

“Tequila or whiskey?” Maria asked, putting a hand on her hip.

 

“Whichever one will get me drunk faster.” he responded, keeping his head down. He felt miserable and he didn’t want to talk. 

 

“We’ll go with bourbon then.” she said, pouring him a glass. She had closed the bar a few minutes before so it was just the two of them. He took the glass and downed it quickly. “So Guerin, can we-”

 

“No. No talking, DeLuca. I just need a drink.” he said, flexing his healed hand. He didn’t know if he would ever get used to being able to use it again. She sighed and poured him another, trying to ignore the tears streaking his face. And another. And another. It went on like that for a long time until he was too drunk to stand and Maria was too tired to anything other than call for help. Soon enough her backup arrived.

 

“Maria, is everything okay it sounded-” Alex froze upon seeing Michael leaning on the bar. “Important.”

 

Maria sighed and gestured to the broken man infront of her. Michael sat up at the sound of Alex’s voice. 

 

“Why did you call me, Maria?” Alex asked, shooting a sad look at Michael. 

 

“Because he needed someone who could help him. I’m just not that someone.” Maria said, moving around the bar to stand in front of Alex.

 

“And what makes you think I am?” He asked, unable to look at Maria or Michael. 

 

“I just figured-” 

 

“You figured wrong, Maria. We’re not together. We’re- at this point I don’t even know if I can say friends.”

 

“Alex…”

“I’ll take him off your hands. Don’t worry about it.” he said, helping Michael to stand. He was essentially dead weight on Alex’s side, but Alex didn’t really mind. They may not be together but he hoped they were still friends. Friends that would do this kind of thing for each other. 

 

“Do you need any help?” Maria asked, taking a tentative half step forward.

 

“No, I’ve got it. Thanks for calling me, Maria.” Alex said, moving to the door and getting Michael safely to his car. After he made sure Michael was secure he sat down in the driver’s seat and let out a long sigh.

 

“Why do you do this to me, Guerin? I think we’re finally stepping away from each other and I think I’ll finally be able to breathe without you but then I get called to pick you up before you work your way into the drunk tank. Or I see you working at Sanders’. Or I see you anywhere and suddenly we’re seventeen and in that museum again. I hate that you have this hold over me.” Alex whispered, shooting a longing look to Michael only to realize that his eyes were open.

 

“Alex I-”

 

“No just- I’m getting you home and then we’re done. I said I don’t want to see you again and I mean it. I don’t want to see you- not for a while anyway.” Alex said, pulling out of The Wild Pony parking lot. Michael nodded solemnly, the taste of alcohol in his mouth that he had gone to for comfort now tasting sour and putrid. The drive was awkward and tense but there was nothing either one of them could think to say to diffuse the situation.

 

Alex pulled up to the airstream and put his car in park. He felt like he needed to say something, anything. He just didn’t know what.  _ I love you. I always will. _

 

“Do you need help getting inside or can you manage it?” 

 

Michael shrugged and pushed the car door open. He put his feet on the ground and almost immediately fell over. Alex was up and around in an instant, there to be the support system Michael always seemed to need.

 

“You’re worse off than I thought. Let’s get you inside.” Alex said softly, wrapping his arm around Michael’s waist. Now that he was more conscious it was slightly easier to move with Michael instead of just carrying him. Alex managed to push the door of the airstream open and get both of them inside without hazard. 

 

Alex set him down on his bed and Michael groaned as his face hit the pillow. Alex went to get him a glass of water and came back to find Michael facing the ceiling and slightly coherent. He sat on the edge of the bed and gently pushed Michael’s curls from his face, a sad look sitting firmly on his face.

 

“Michael, you really need to drink some water so that way you don’t feel as shitty tomorrow, okay?” Alex said, coaxing Michael into a sitting position. Michael nodded and hesitantly took the glass from Alex’s hand, trying to make sure not to drop it in the process. He drank it slowly, avoiding looking at Alex so that way he doesn’t have to see his face in his inebriated state.

 

“Are you okay, Michael? I mean- obviously you’re not because you went to get drunk but just- outside of me are you okay?”

 

“No. God, Alex I’m not okay. I’ve done so much shit and- how can I make up for all these things that I’ve done? There’s no way I can-”

 

“You don’t need to, Michael. I’ve done my fair share of bad things too.” Alex whispered, pressing a soft kiss to Michael’s forehead. “You won’t remember this tomorrow. But that’s how it needs to be.” Alex took a step back as Michael fell gently back against his bed, immediately falling asleep once he did. Alex leaned down and pressed one final kiss to Michael’s temple before finally leaving the airstream and going to his car. As the engine turned over his mind was racing. He needed to call Kyle. He needed Kyle. Seeing Michael like this always left him so shaken and the only person who could help restore some peace to his mind was Kyle, so that’s where he needed to go. That’s who he  _ needed _ . 

 

The phone rang once. Twice. Then a very sleepy only slightly grumpy voice answered.

 

“Is everything okay, Alex? What time is it?” Kyle asked, yawning through the line. Alex let out a shaky sigh.

 

“No. Not really. Not at all.” Alex said, leaning his head back against the headrest. 

 

“What’s the matter? Did something happen? Do I need to come get you?” immediately Kyle was more alert and his voice drenched with concern.

 

“No it’s- it’s nothing really I just had a rough night and you were the first person I could think of to call.” Alex said, cheeks burning. “Sorry if that’s- weird I don’t really know how this-”

 

“It’s not weird, Manes. We’re b- friends. Friends call each other when they need help. We’re working through things and that’s just the way it is.”

 

“You can say it, Kyle. It’s not a bad word. We- we’re not a bad thing.” he whispered, trying to reassure himself as much as he was reassuring Kyle.

 

“I know it’s just I’ve never-”

 

“Had a boyfriend before?” Alex asked sheepishly.

 

“Yeah, that.” Kyle paused, gears turning in his head. “When are you coming home? I uh- I found something for you. 3,652 somethings, actually.”

 

Alex froze, breath hitching in his throat. “What- Kyle what do you mean?”

 

“The- the letters that Michael was talking about. I found them in an old storage box at Caulfield before it uh… before it blew.”

 

“So he- he really wrote every day for ten years…” Alex said, finally pulling away from the airstream. That was a lot to take in. Thunder rumbled above him and Alex flinched. He managed to keep a front around others but when he was by himself- it scared him.

 

“Alex- please get back soon. Maizy is freaking out without you here and I know that this isn’t your favorite climate to be alone in. Just- get home safely and get home soon. Please.” 

 

“I will. I promise.” he clicked the phone off and turned back to the road. He had so much going through his head and he didn’t know how to handle it. Michael had woven his way into every aspect of his life and Alex couldn’t get rid of him. No matter what he tried he couldn’t seem to shake himself of Michael. 

 

The rain was still pouring and he could barely see through his windshield. His lights could barely cut through the onslaught. His car radio was playing faintly in the background as he drove and it did nothing to ease his wandering mind. The best thing that happened to him that night was pulling up in front of his cabin.

 

Sooner than he could park and turn off his car, Kyle was outside waiting to greet him. Alex melted into Kyle’s arms and buried his face in his shoulder. He wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow him up at this moment. Kyle rubbed Alex’s shoulders and kissed the side of his head.

 

“Are you okay, Alex?” Kyle asked softly, escorting Alex through the door to his cabin. Alex shook his head and leaned heavily on Kyle. He just wanted to sleep. “Do you need anything?”

 

“Just- just hold me for a while.” Alex replied, eyes drifting shut. It had been an insane day and all that he could do now was rest.


	3. Opening Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isobel and Michael meet up at the crashdown for a little heart to heart

 

Michael’s head was screaming and he felt like he should be dead. He could barely sit up, every muscle in his body ached. His phone was buzzing like crazy and it was only making his headache worse. He put the phone on speaker and then set it on his chest.

 

“What, Isobel?” he asked groggily, the sound of his voice only causing more discomfort.

“We were supposed to get breakfast this morning, Michael! You promised.” Isobel’s voice was laced with hurt as she spoke, a frown evident on her face. 

 

“Iz- too loud please I just woke up. What time is it anyway?” He asked, slowly pushing himself to a sitting position.

 

“It’s 10:30 and I’ve been sitting in the Crashdown by myself for the past hour and a half.” 

 

Michael ran a hand down his face and sighed. “Alright Iz, I’ll be there in ten. I’m sorry.”

 

“If you’re even a minute late I swear-”

 

“I’ll be there Iz. I promise.” Michael hung up the phone and did a quick freshen up. He grabbed the cleanest shirt he could find and threw on a slightly less dirty pair of pants before heading out to the Crashdown. 

 

Michael was walking through the doors with two minutes to spare and was greeted by a less than happy looking Isobel. He made his way over to her and sat down across the table.

 

“Look, Iz, I-” she put a hand up a determined look on her face.

 

“Michael. You- I know you’re not okay. I know you haven’t been okay since high school. I’ve wanted to talk to you about it I just never knew how but now I- we have to talk to each other, Michael. We’re all we have left and there’s so much you never told me. After Rosa and Max and-” Isobel cut herself off, an abashed look crossing her face

 

“Alex.” Michael supplied, looking her square in the face. “You never bothered to get to know me before, why now?”

 

“Because, Michael. I can’t sit back and watch you destroy yourself over things that are not your fault. Not anymore.”

 

“Isobel, listen to me-”

 

“No, Michael! You listen to me! You’ve been beating yourself up about Alex for years. You’ve been carrying guilt for Rosa you didn’t deserve to carry for just as long. Now your brother,  _ our brother, _ is dead. I need you to open up about what you feel, Michael. You need to let yourself feel things, process them.” Her eyes were pleading with him to agree. Begging him to lay himself bare to her, tell her everything he’s kept on lock for over a decade.

 

“Isobel you don’t know what you’re asking me to do.” he warned, already feeling more vulnerable than he wanted to. 

 

“I’m fully aware of what I’m asking, Michael. You are just as much my brother as Max was and- and dammit  _ I want to know who you are.” _

 

A shockwave of pain coursed through Michael’s body as he was thrown back to that day outside Sanders’. He remembered how everything just seemed to get worse from there. Because he didn’t talk. He didn’t open up. So now he had to.

 

“Alright, Iz. Fine. What do you want to know? Where do you want to start?”

 

“Start with Alex Manes. We’ll go from there.” 

 

Michael sighed and slumped down in the booth. Of all the things he was expecting to do this morning, telling Isobel about all of his history with Alex had not been at the top of the list. Hell, it hadn’t even made on to the damn list. 

 

“Senior year. He found out that I was on my own, living out of Stella and barely getting by with anything. He offered up his shed for me to stay in, said it was a warm place to go whenever the nights got too cold.”

 

“So you- you stayed there?” Isobel asked, a look of guilt struck her face but was gone by the time Michael blinked.

 

“I did, yeah. He and I- we just- I don’t know, Iz. We connected on a cosmic level. We fit together like perfectly matched puzzle pieces. He was the first guy I loved. The first guy I-”

 

“I don’t need visuals.” 

 

“I was going to say the first guy I felt loved by, Izzy. Get your head out of the gutter.” Michael teased, a small smile gracing his lips. It wasn’t long however til his face fell into a wistful frown.

 

“Then what, Michael?” Isobel prompted, eager to hear more about the Michael’s beginning with the man that changed his life. Michael sighed and his face twisted with pain. He gently rubbed at his once maimed hand and pushed back the tears threatening to fall.

 

“We were- fast. Everything happened within days of Rosa dying.” His hand tensed up and he balled it into a fist and slowly released it. “We played music together and we laughed and we grew closer and eventually yeah, we had sex and-”

 

“Michael, spare the details please.” Isobel interrupted, crinkling her nose in disgust.

 

“You want the damn story or not, Isobel?” Michael snapped, wishing he wasn’t having to tell it in the first place.

 

“Right. Sorry.”

 

“ _ Anyway. _ After it was over- Jesse caught us in the shed. First he threatened Alex. Grabbed him by his neck and shoved him into a wall. I tried to intervene but Jesse he-” Michael shuddered, he could practically feel the fear coursing through his body just remembering it. “He grabbed me and he- he-”

 

“He’s the one who hurt your hand?” Isobel supplied, trying to word it as gently as possible. She didn’t want to add anymore misery than Michael was already reliving. She hated seeing him hurt like this. She hated knowing that a Manes was responsible for this.

 

“It was hell, Iz, but it’s not like I could’ve just gone to Max. Alex had seen it happen. Jesse had done it. If my hand was suddenly in perfect condition they would’ve suspected us long before they did, so instead of going anywhere- to a doctor, to Max-”

 

“You just dealt with it on your own.”

 

“Like I always do.”

 

“ _ Michael…” _

 

“You know I’m right Isobel. It was always you and Max at the forefront and me in the back. I never had anyone but myself but you two- you two always had each other.”

 

The door jingled open and Michael was drawn to the sound. To his dismay, however he was greeted with the sight of Alex Manes and Kyle Valenti walking arm in arm with jovial smiles on their faces. In response Michael’s face dropped. Seeing Alex happy is all he’s ever wanted but sometimes it hurt that it wasn’t with him. Even if he didn’t deserve it. He turned back to Isobel and shot her an apologetic look.

 

“I have to go, Iz. I’ll see you later.” he said, already grabbing his things to leave.

 

“Wh- Michael! We still have to talk!” 

 

“I know, Isobel. And we will just-” he shot a look to Alex and Kyle. Kyle noticed him and nodded in acknowledgement but Michael looked away before Alex could catch him. “Just not now. Not here.” Michael was gone in a flash, barely a whisper in the Café as the door clanged violently behind him. He didn’t look back as he stormed away from the Crashdown. He couldn’t.


	4. The Night We Met

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael finds a dog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one gets a bit... sad. dont hate me

Months passed that way. Whenever the three of them saw each other in public they would tuck tail and run. They didn’t talk, they didn’t even acknowledge each other. It was the start of the third month that the tides started to shift. 

 

“Can we please stop this weird dance, Guerin?”

 

Michael had been visiting a new record store that had popped up. It was, of course, Alien themed. They called it Unidentified Flying Records- UFR for short. He was sorting through records, trying to pick the next one to add to his collection when Kyle had approached him.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Valenti. I haven’t been doing any dancing recently, especially not in this town.”

 

“You know exactly what I mean, Michael.” Kyle said, his tone very serious. Michael straightened up at that, it was rare that Kyle ever used his first name and it caught him off guard. Nonetheless he let out a quiet scoff and turned to face him.

 

“Can’t say that I do, Valenti. Enlighten me.”

 

“Every time Alex and I show up somewhere that you are you hightail it out of there.”

 

“Really? So you’re saying that you and Alex don’t do the same thing whenever I end up where the two of you are?”

 

“So we agree then? No more awkward tango? We can exist in the same space as each other without making it weird?”

 

“I was never making it weird, Valenti. That was you and Alex with your very public displays of affection.”

 

“Are you jealous, Guerin?”

 

“So what if I am, Valenti? What are you gonna do about it? It’s not like I’m going to try anything, unless these past three months of avoiding you was giving the wrong impression.” Michael snapped, turning back to the records. This was supposed to be an easy trip, but now it was turning out to be a bit more complicated than Michael had been anticipating. Kyle sighed.

 

“Look man, I get that you and Alex had a thing for a really long time but eventually- you have to move on.” 

 

“Nah. You don’t get it, Valenti. Alex- Alex is my person. He always has been. I love him and I probably always will. He’s the reason I’ve stayed on this fuckin’ planet the last ten years. I just wanted to see him again.” Michael paused, his fingers lingering over a slightly faded record cover. “He’s it for me. Even if I’m not it for him. I see the stars in his eyes and I swear I hear heaven in his voice but- I don’t have the same affect on him. Not anymore. So yeah, I’m jealous. It doesn’t mean anything if the person I want doesn’t want me back.” He picked up the record and looked at the cover. Lord Huron. He’d heard of them, figured might as well go for it since nothing else caught his eye.

 

“Guerin-”

 

“Sorry, Valenti. I’ve got a record to buy and some Zs to catch. I’ll see you around.” Michael said, handing the cashier a ten and walking towards the door. He hated the way his mind lingered on Kyle as he got in his truck. His strong brow, his sharp jawline- 

 

“There’s no fuckin way…” he mumbled, the engine of his truck roaring to life. There was no possible way he had a thing for Kyle fucking Valenti. If he did- well truthfully he didn’t know what he’d do. Michael shook it off and sped out of the parking lot. Of all days. Of all places it just had to be today in that damn record shop. 

 

The drive back to the Max’s was usually uneventful. Sand. Road. More sand. More road. Small lump on the side of the road. Michael looked in his side view mirrors and his heart dropped. That was a dog.  _ That was a dog! _ He slammed on the breaks and put his car in park. He was barely thinking as he approached it. As he got closer he realized two things, it was a beautiful Australian Shepherd and it was still very young. 

 

He was less than a yard away when the puppy looked up at him. She had blue eyes and a black patch over one half of her face. Michael knew that if he tried to get any closer he might risk scaring her so he decided to just sit down for a minute and try to get her to come to him. He cooed at her for a few minutes and slowly stuck his hand towards her, trying to coax her to him and eventually it worked.

 

When the puppy stood, Michael felt like he had a pretty good idea as to why she had been abandoned although it made his blood boil. She only had three legs.

 

“Hey kid. C’mere. Roswell nights can get pretty cold and you don’t need to be out in the desert by yourself now do ya?” he said, gently taking her into his arms once she had sniffed him and decided he could be trusted. She licked the side of his face as he carried her to his car and Michael couldn’t help the giant grin that had split his face. He’d always wanted a dog.

 

He wrapped her up in one of his spare blankets and set her in the passenger seat. He started back to the house, the smile never once leaving his face.

 

“You’re like a little bandit, kiddo. Stealing my heart.” he whispered happily. Shortly after he was back at Max’s where stood a very concerned looking Isobel. Michael got out of the car and grabbed the record from the backseat before moving to the passenger side.

 

“Are you gonna tell me where you’ve been the past two days?” She demanded, barely concealing the worry in her voice. He opened the door and carefully picked up the little bundle that had since fallen asleep.

 

“Went back to the airstream for a bit. The reality of Max’s death was really starting to sink in and take its toll and I just wanted to be alone.” He explained, cradling the mess of blanket and fur to his chest.

 

“You could’ve called me or texted or- is that a dog?”

 

“Yeah, found her abandoned on the side of the road on my way home. Poor girl was shivering and alone so I decided to pick her up. No one should have to be alone in the desert.” The puppy in his arms perked up a bit, exposing the blue merle and black split of her face. 

 

“Does she have a name?” Isobel asked, gently lifting her from Michael’s arms as the two siblings walked to their house. 

 

“I was thinking Bandit.” Michael said, nudging the door open with his foot. “Cause with that black patch on her face it kinda makes her look like one, no?” Michael set the record down on the table then turned to look back at Isobel who was now cradling Bandit and cooing at her like she was a baby. “What about you, Iz? Any bright ideas?”

 

“Bandit is perfect.” she said absently, softly petting Bandit’s head. Isobel set the dog down and she started yipping and running around. Michael didn’t think he’d felt this happy in a while. He sat on the couch and she run up to him and started licking his face and hands.

 

“Do we have any supplies for dogs? Dog food? A collar-”

 

“We can focus on that later, Iz. For now let’s enjoy the new puppy and just how much we needed a happy thing like this with how much we’ve been dealing with recently.”

 

Isobel sat across from him, however she sat on the floor. Bandit continued to run between the two of them for another 30 minutes before someone was knocking on the door.

 

“It’s open!” Michael called, gentle ruffling Bandit’s sides. The pair looked up as Liz walked in with bags of food in her arms.

 

“Hey guys! I know yall haven’t had much time to go out and get groceries but- wait is that a dog?” Liz asked, her eyes widening.

 

“Yeah, I found her on my way home. She was abandoned on the side of the road.” Michael said, his eyes slipping closed. Bandit pawed her way up the couch and curled up in a ball on Michael’s chest. 

 

“Thank you, Liz. We really appreciate it.” Isobel said, taking the bags into the kitchen. Michael fell asleep quickly on the couch with Bandit right behind him. Together they made for the best sleep Michael had had in a long time.


	5. Gone, Gone, Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Michael run into each other and they catch up. Alex really likes Michael's dog.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took a minute oopsie. it's a bit shorter than usual which makes me :/ but i hope it's still worth it

Later that afternoon, Michael had bought a leash and collar and was now trying to leash train his new puppy. It wasn’t particularly easy but then again, most things around him weren’t. She was surprisingly calm for a puppy but she was still having some balance issues due to her leg. It was a clear, beautiful night and Michael decided he should take Bandit on a little walking tour of Roswell. She had stopped to sniff absolutely everything.

 

“And this here is the UFO Emporium. There’s a lot of conspiracies about extraterrestrials and things from another world but I’m pretty sure they’re all made up.” he said with a laugh, leaning down to ruffle the dog’s ears. When he stood back up, he was looking directly into someone’s eyes. 

 

“Uh- Alex. Hey, uh, I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” Michael said awkwardly, trying not to betray how flustered he was and failing miserably. Immediately Bandit was jumping up at Alex and trying to get his attention. “Bandit! Down girl, it isn’t nice to jump on people.” 

 

“Didn’t know you had a dog, Guerin.” Alex replied, looking down fondly at the puppy who was now laying at Michael’s feet.

 

“Found her on my way home from UFR.” Michael said. As if on cue, the little dog looked up at him and started smiling. “She had been abandoned on the side of the road and I couldn’t leave her there- I just couldn’t.” He leaned down to pick her up and once she was in his arms she started to lick his face.

 

“Can I hold her?” Alex asked. The tension between them had decreased a decent amount in the past few months but this was the longest interaction they’d had since Alex broke it off.

 

“Yeah, yeah sure.” Michael said, shifting Bandit so she was in a position that would make the trade off easier. Alex’s hand brushed Michael’s as he took Bandit from his arms and Michael could swear he felt a jolt of electricity, as cheesy as that sounds. When she was safely in Alex’s arms Michael realized that he looked almost… panicked.

 

“Alex? What’s wrong?” he asked, trying to keep the concern off his face and out of his voice.

 

“ _ She only has three legs _ .” he mumbled, almost incomprehensibly. Michael scrunched his eyebrows, he couldn’t quite hear him.

 

“What?”

 

“She only has three legs.” Alex said again, slightly more confident but still evidently shaken. He was cradling her in his arms as though she were a baby and though he was looking towards Michael, he had a very far off look in his eyes. “Do you know-”

 

“Like I said, Alex. I found her on the side of the road. I don’t know how she got there, I don’t know how she lost her leg, all I know is that I have this intense need to protect her.” 

 

Alex shook himself out of it. He didn’t know why this was affecting him the way it was. He threw on a smile and handed the dog back to Michael.

 

“It makes me happy to see you smiling again.” He said as he watched Michael with Bandit.

 

“It’s just nice to see you again.” Michael said without thinking, freezing at his own words. Alex winced slightly, feeling stung by Michael’s words. He knew he was right but that didn’t make it easier to hear.

 

“I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you. It’s just-”

 

“Painful?” Michael supplied, a wistful look on his face. Alex wished he could say no. He wished he could say it was just challenging but he couldn’t. Michael didn’t need him to deny it, he knew he was right. Alex wasn’t the only one who had been going through this these past few months. The only difference is, Michael had been doing it alone.

 

“Look maybe we could- I don’t know. We could get lunch sometime? I hate feeling like strangers, Guerin. We were such big parts of each other’s lives, it’s not like-”

 

“We can just pretend nothing ever happened? That you didn’t walk away? That I didn’t screw up countless times?” 

 

“Exactly, Michael! After everything that’s happened between us we can’t just stop talking completely. These past few months have been absolute hell and I can’t handle it anymore.” Alex said, letting out a frustrated sigh. He hated this feeling. He hated feeling like he was walking on eggshells or tiptoeing around a sleeping baby. 

 

“Communication is a two way street, Manes. I’ve tried reaching out but a certain guard dog wouldn’t stop baring his teeth at me.”

 

“Kyle?” Alex’s eyes went wide with shock.

 

“Don’t freak, Captain. It’s obvious he’s been trying to protect you but it’s kind of started to piss me off. I just wanted to extend an olive branch and he’s nipping my damn heels.” Michael shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. Alex could see right through him though. He could tell it was getting under his skin. 

 

“So… can we get lunch sometime? And officially catch up not on the street?” Alex asked, trying not to let how hopeful he was show through his voice. Michael let out a small laugh and nodded.

 

“You sure your boyfriend won’t mind?” He joked, a lighthearted lilt to his voice. Alex shook his head but he couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face.

 

“Kyle won’t mind. We’re friends, Guerin. Friends are allowed to hand out together.”

 

“Even friends who used to-”

 

“ _ Guerin.” _

 

“Sorry, private.” Michael said, lips turning up into a smirk. 

**Author's Note:**

> hope you like it :)


End file.
